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Albums With Awful Artwork
Posted by Rob Ortenzi on 26-Aug-08 @ 11:23 AM|
Selected by Brett Callwood.
One of the arguments against downloadable music over the classic CD or vinyl formats is that it kills the concept of the "complete package"-the artwork that complements the music so perfectly (or at least should). Sometimes, a band will produce a jaw-dropping album but soften the impact by choosing a terrible piece of art for its sleeve. Why they do it is a mystery, but there is some comfort in knowing that even the most talented artists are not immune to the occasional bout of bad-taste syndrome. Here are 10 arguments in favor of MP3s. |
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THE CLASH Give ‘Em Enough Rope (Sony,1978)  When playing “Last Gang In Town” or “Tommy Gun” on full blast, it’s difficult to find much to complain about with the Clash’s second album. Sure, it’s no London Calling, but Give ‘Em Enough Rope is as near to classic as a non-classic can be. However, somebody should have told them that although there’s nothing wrong with the cheery image of vultures picking at the corpse of a dead cowboy while an Asian man riding a horse looks on, fluorescent yellow, red and blue just aren’t going to provide the right setting.
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BLONDIE The Hunter (Capitol,1982)  Does anyone really need telling why this cover is so bad? Just look at Deborah Harry for 30 seconds without laughing. Before The Hunter, Harry had been a virtual barometer of coolness. Then, seemingly out of the blue, she turned up at this photo shoot looking like the lion from The Wizard Of Oz with a leopard-print top on. Though the album itself was generally overlooked due to the fact that it contains no obvious singles, it is well worth revisiting. Still, the picture on the front, not to mention the font chosen for the album’s title, is best forgotten.
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IGGY POP Blah Blah Blah (A&M,1986)  Perhaps his best album of the ’80s, Blah Blah Blah reunited the Godfather of punk with David Bowie, and the duo proved that Iggy could indeed be pop. The songs are slick in that oh-so-’80s way, but they’re also well-written and stand up next to the majority of Iggy’s solo work to this very day. But none of that excuses the atrocious cover, which features Iggy standing alone in jeans and a tucked-in black T-shirt, looking like a model from some sort of department store catalog.
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SONIC YOUTH Daydream Nation (ENIGMA,1988)  The pinnacle of Sonic Youth’s illustrious career, Daydream Nation, struck the perfect balance between extended lush-jams and melodic art-rock. Along with Pixies and Hüsker Dü, the Youth entered the day-glo ’80s like a virus that would reach its natural conclusion with grunge. The music was beautifully sparse and wonderfully bleak, but there was really no need to hammer the fact home with a cover that featured a lone candle gently burning away in front of a grey and black background. One word, sonic youngsters: Hammy.
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RAMONES ¡Adios Amigos! (RADIOACTIVE,1995)  While this isn’t their best album (not even close), it does feature a rocking cover of the Spiderman TV theme song. The cover art, however, might just be the most terrible any band ever used in the history of music. Whoever decided to trash the concept of the band standing somewhere and looking cool in their leather jackets should have been ignored-whoever decided to put dinosaurs on the cover should have been fired. Whoever decided to put sombreros on the dinosaurs should have been shot.
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ALICE IN CHAINS Alice In Chains (COLUMBIA,1995)  Perhaps not the masterpiece that both Facelift and Dirt were, Alice In Chains is still an incredible piece of work. Gloomy and mid-paced, the album is lyrically joyless yet a beautiful and moving experience. This is more than can be said for a mangy old dog, which happens to be missing a leg, pictured on the cover. Never ones to miss a chance to bring people down, the Seattle legends’ sleeve only succeeded in making pet owners around the globe keep an extra eye on Fido.
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ROCKET FROM THE CRYPT RFTC (INTERSCOPE,1998)  Is it a werewolf? Is it King Kong? God only knows, but what isn’t in doubt is that the cover to this ’98 effort from Speedo’s crew is dreadful. Why the San Diego punk ‘n’ roll merchants chose this painting over all other paintings is a mystery. What makes it even more tragic is the album features some of the band’s greatest songs, including “Panic Scam” and “Lipstick.” A badly drawn monster just didn’t do them justice.
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MISFITS Famous Monsters (ROADRUNNER,1999)  Remember when the Misfits were scary? When Glenn Danzig had everyone running for cover with his sinister vocal delivery and songs that told of the scrapes that they’d gotten themselves into? The Jersey ghouls were groundbreaking and gloriously dark. When they reformed with self-proclaimed “conservative punk” Michale Graves on vocals, they proved with this album that they were still capable of writing good songs. Sadly, they decided to decorate the sleeve with a picture of themselves looking like the pseudo-wrestlers they now were.
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SUM 41 Half Hour Of Power (ISLAND,2000)  The album that introduced the diminutive Canadians to the world and started them on their journey to pop-punk superstardom, Half Hour Of Power fused metal solos to those chirpy punk anthems that we’re now so accustomed to, while the title of the record is an admirable statement of intent. So how did they choose to visually depict their triumphant debut recording? By having drummer Steve Jocz in his skivvies and a pair of shades firing a toy gun, crudely Photoshopped over some fire, that’s how.
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PATTI SMITH Trampin’ (COLUMBIA,2004)  The appendage on the cover presumably belongs to the tramp the album title refers to. That’s the only reason we can think of to have a stinky, old foot on the front of an album. As reasons go, it’s a bad one, because a stinky, old foot is still a stinky, old foot. The album’s a real gem, by the way; not quite as good as the classic Horses, but closer to the mark than she’d gotten in years. Seriously, though, Patti: Ever heard of socks?
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