 |
  
 
 |
|
Ted Nugent
Posted by Rachel Lux on 18-Feb-08 @ 11:30 AM
YEARS OF EXISTENCE: 59 unapologetic years worth, you wimp.YEARS OF DECENT EXISTENCE: 1968-1970 (the Amboy Dukes); 1975-1980 (as the loincloth-wearin', hollow-body totin', bow-huntin' sumbitch known as the "Motor City Madman") BEST RECORDS: Ted Nugent (1975), Free-For-All (1976), Cat Scratch Fever (1977), Double Live Gonzo (1978) WORST RECORDS: The remaining 28. GO DOWNLOAD: "Stranglehold," "Live It Up," "Free For All," "The Great White Buffalo," "Paralyzed" FILE UNDER: People Who Like The Sound Of Their Own Voice SIMILAR SOUNDING DINOSAURS: KISS, Aerosmith and ZZ Top, as well as current quantum physics engineers Nashville Pussy and Kid Rock. THE MUSIC: Detroit-born Nugent was the guitar hero in the Amboy Dukes, a psychedelic rock unit who had a hit with the heavily phase-shifted number "Journey To The Center Of The Mind" in the late '60s. Tired of rehearsing with the hygiene-challenged, pot-smoking hippies in the Dukes, he launched himself as a solo artist, releasing his self-titled debut in 1975. For the rest of the decade, his trademark Gibson Byrdland hollow-body guitar delivered some of the best riffola to be played through a 110-db PA system (go download "Stranglehold" right now). Coupled with his high-speed shit-talking ("San Antonio: Suck my bo-ni-oh!"), Ted was a barrel of rockin' laughs. Too bad he spent the '80s dulling his Kershaw knives scraping barrel's bottom with a series of records marinated in studio sheen. Making matters worse (but banking sweet), in 1990, he hooked up with a bunch of classic-rock poodle-boners under the name Damn Yankees, which fortunately fizzled after two discs. WHAT THEY SAY: "While there's no denying his exceptional talent on the six-string, his knack for penning arena rock anthems, or his standing as one of rock's top live acts, it's his non-musical endeavors (his pro-right wing beliefs, pro-gun advocacy, appreciation of hunting animals, etc.) that have caused the most condemnation from his detractors." -Allmusic WHAT I SAY: I couldn't care less if Nugent's politics make Dick Cheney look like George Clooney. The Nuge's post-'70s output is enough evidence to replace his "Motor City Madman" sobriquet with something along the lines of "Bow-Huntin' Ballerina." And another thing, Ted: Why'd you halt production on Gonzo Meat Biltong, your snack product that was vastly superior to beef jerky? That's more disappointing than 1986's Little Miss Dangerous.... WHY YOUR (GRAND)PARENTS LIKE HIM: Back in the day, Ted was so badass in bringing the rock, your dad thought it was an honor-neigh, duty-to deliver your mom backstage to him. See, the ladies were Ted's big vice; he's always been as straight edge as Minor Threat. From his official website: "His sober stance makes his sometimes offensive banter seem intelligently researched and sharply stated." Forget the war on terrorism; when do we fight the war on irony? CURRENT WHEREABOUTS: In addition to being the elder rock statesman on VH1's recent Supergroup reality show and talking huge smack on liberals with Sean Hannity, da Nuge has issued Love Grenade, his 32nd album. It's 58 minutes long. -Jason Pettigrew |
