askthatguy
Rod Stewart
Alternative Press - Editorial Intern on 3/26/09 @ 12:24 PM - altpress.comYEARS OF DECENT EXISTENCE: 1969 (as the Small Faces' frontman) to 1977
BEST RECORDS: Every Picture Tells A Story (1971), Never A Dull Moment (1972), Foot Loose And Fancy Free (1977)
WORST RECORDS: Both you and Rod should pretend the '80s never happened.
GO DOWNLOAD: Why not buy your 'rents Rhino's new anthology, The Definitive Rod Stewart, for the holidays? That way you can smile/cringe along to everything from "Maggie Mae" to "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" while bringing the family closer together.
FILE UNDER: Millionaire Soccer Dads In Search Of Reaffirmation
SIMILAR-SOUNDING DINOSAURS: Steve Winwood, Elton John, Michael Bolton, Linda Ronstadt
THE MUSIC: In the days before he made it acceptable for middle-aged dudes to wear spandex, Stewart was a cocky showman blessed with a melodic rasp, fronting such British rock institutions as the Jeff Beck Group and the Small Faces (who later changed their name to the Faces and rocked hard: Go download A Nod Is As Good As A Wink... To A Blind Horse, immediately). Despite making a spirited racket in a fine band, Stewart kept his eye on the prize, building a solo career by invoking a tale worthy of Mary Kay Letourneau ("Maggie Mae"), as well as a high-spirited cover of "(I Know) I'm Losin' You" by Motown legends the Temptations. When "Rod The Mod" started to overshadow his band, he launched a solo career and began filling arenas with mall chicks, their similarly whored moms and dudes who knew they were gonna get some action from either if they just bought the tickets. In the days since, Stewart has continually pole-vaulted onto whatever bandwagon came down the pike, with dalliances into disco, techno-pop or typically character-free FM miasma. Today, Stewart fancies himself a crooner, and on his recent The Great American Songbook series he's singing covers your grandparents have a hard time remembering-which is about as rock 'n' roll as the contents of John McCain's medicine cabinet.
WHAT THEY SAY: "After Stewart became successful, he began to lose the rootsier elements of his music, yet he remained a superb singer, even as he abandoned his own artistic path in favor of following pop trends." -Allmusic
WHAT I SAY: No need for me to be redundant.
WHY YOUR (GRAND)PARENTS LIKE HIM: They're deluded and they need to give up the friggin' ghost, already. Alice Cooper, 60, found religion and was recently censored on Craig Ferguson's show. You don't see him covering selections from songbooks found on top of the pianos in assisted living homes, do you?
CURRENT WHEREABOUTS: Stewert's got more money than Christ, Allah and the estate of L. Ron Hubbard, and he's married to a stunning blonde a quarter-century younger than his bad self. So when he embarks on these crooner tours, it's obvious he's not doing it for the money. He's just making a pathetic cry for attention. Put your fingers in your ears and yell, "la-la-la-la," as necessary. -Jason Pettigrew
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